ATTENTION EVERYBODY! I AM GOD!

Yo where is everybody, I need to speak the them.

I know, I KNOW, it's been a while. If you just SHUT UP for a second I'll explain.

This is a university radio station website.

Now don't mention it again or I'll cut off your knees, scrape out the insides and make them into a brar. A British Braaahhhrrr.

So I gathered everyone here to learn and reflect about the time I TOOK HOME FOOD FROM REUBEN'S!!!YAAAAAH!!!!AND WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO!(I work there) YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!

Isn't that bad ass!??? Employees are most definitely not allowed to take "product" home. ("Product"??? Pffffttt.) And I did it in on my 2nd week there(it was tonight!!! I work at Reuben's!).

I know I've got HUGELY big balls!

Wanna know how I did it? I made a maaaad pizza for myself (red onions, tomatoes, red peppers, chicken and cheese, muthafuckaaah,) I cut it into 4, went in the back, ate 2 pieces and then wrapped the rest in wax paper. GANGSTA! And then, to get it out of the motherbase, I enfolded(yeah check that out) my work hat AROUND the wax paper pizza package and then smoothly EXITED the building!!! I should be aressted yo! I'm a theifer! Ballin' wit ma sneak ATTACK MUTHERPINEAPPLESANDWICH!!!

What shows what a punk I am is that I asked different guys in the kitchen about bringing food home, and not even 1 of them HINTED OR SWEETLY WHISPERED that I could sneak some eats out. And these are chill guys who don't give a DIP about chips.

Imma eat those slices of pizza now, personal sex slave.