Bet you didn't see this one coming... After a four year absence, the most popular feature in the history of the CJLO magazine is back! ...In Haiku form?!? Let me explain: I'm lazy and I hate writing. The rotting carcasses of unfinished editions of Johnny Suck's Concert Diary litter my hard drive. No matter how much I wanted to share my concert-going experiences, I just couldn't complete a full-length feature. Then recently, someone (possibly me) made a joke about writing a review of Hatebreed's recent show in Haiku. I'm of the opinion that the best jokes are the ones that are followed through to their bitter, unfunny end. And since 17-syllable reviews are so quick and easy to write, why not do a whole bunch of them and call it a feature! So without further ado, I present to you Johnny Suck's Concert Diary - The Haiku Edition...

Black Bomb A, Katacombes, Sept 2nd

expected nothing
band was tight, catchy, and fun
pleasantly surprised


Downtrodden & Buffalo Theory MTL, Katacombes, Sept 3rd

Montreal doomers
Montreal stoner rockers
best bands in the city**


Fear & Loathing 9, Foufounes Electriques, Sept 5th

so much awesomeness
too much to say in three lines
trust me, go next year


Hatebreed, Club Soda, Sept 9th

went to see Hatebreed
not able to review the show
wasn't on guestlist


Holy Divide, Barfly, Sept 25th

Dutch Oven is dead
make way for Holy Divide
loud motherfuckers


Municipal Waste, Club Soda, Sept 30th

was too excited 
got municipally wasted
don't remember shit


Atari Teenage Riot, Foufounes Electriques, Oct 2nd

Ten years of nothing
went only for my teenage self
One hour of awesome


Tee Pee Records Showcase, Katacombes, Oct 2nd

Naam ended early
new Priestess stuff is the suck
was home by midnight

**Among the top ten in the city, at least... E-mail TDTS.CJLO@gmail.com with a list of the 8 other bands who you think I think round out the top ten bands in the city. The first person to get 6 of the 8 right wins a kick-ass*** prize!