GUNS 'N ROSES + Sebastian Bach + The Suicide Girls @ Scotia Bank Centre

By Jo Satana - 11/17/2006

I can already hear the sighs in your voice: "Guns 'n Roses... you mean that hack Axl’s poor excuse for a band? He’s ripping people off by selling concert tickets for a band that no longer exists? Who needs him, and besides, there’s nothing he does that I haven’t seen before!"

I want to first start off by saying that if you recognize yourself in the quotation above, then you are a whiny bitch. Secondly, I want to add that I disagree with people who immediately write off an artist by comparing them to an older peer. Art IS evolution, and each new generation of artists build from the structures handed to them from the artists of the past. Writing off Axl as a glorified Steven Tyler for example is like saying Steven Tyler is a glorified Robert Plant... who is in turn a supped-up version of Mick Jagger... you catch my drift.

Now on with the show:

Arriving a little tardy as usual -- come on people, I was gunning it cross-province style -- we completely missed the opening act. I was detained at the entrance by a few of the bouncers in a friendly exchange of conversation and couldn't be bothered to wrap things up rather than hurry on in, out of curiosity, to witness the noisy crapfest that was going on onstage (i.e. I heard what the opening band sounded like from outside and preferred to share a few drinks in the parking lot).

Surprisingly, The Suicide Girls (salivating) were up next and to my dismay, shook their little party things in front of a quiet, polite audience. It's not that their routine was tired or anything (well frankly, aside from the stewardess bit, the awesome hula-hoop bit, and the chocolate sauce as "feces" bit, these girls aren't really great dancers albeit excellent eye candy) but the Ottawa crowd was way too polite and came off a little prudish. They clapped...but were were the screaming and the cat calls? At least the music was good; they strung together a fairly nice soundtrack, kids!

Sebastien Bach was the last opening act and I'm not going to lie: I couldn't take it. Three songs in and a 100 "Canada can really rock/Canadian women are the best" comments later, I was off to the bar to get energized and to cleanse my pallet. Man, what was even worst was the sound. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but there was either a strategic move to make Sebastien's voice the only thing audible (more on this later), or someone really needs to check if the "on" switch was pulled on everyone else’s equipment (I'm not going to blame the arena's accoustics... yet). Barely bearable set in my book, not from a music perspective but Bach is one of the more annoying frontmen I've encountered in my lifetime and the fact that he messed up "Ottawa" for "Toronto" was the icing on the cake. And yes, the Trailer Park Boys did come onstage a few times, which is curious because WTF were they doing there in the first place? Couldn’t the Suicide Girls come on and join the party instead? I mean, really.).

Now for the moment of truth, the pièce de résistance, the moment that validates and qualifies this review in the first place: Axl Rose's new G'nFkn R!

Walking leisurely onstage at the early time of midnight, I was immediately taken aback from what I saw: Axl Rose really is the artist that time forgot. My mouth was almost agape as I watched the world's most notorious frontman walk pleasantly onstage during "Welcome to the Jungle", smiling genuinely at the audience, wearing a respectable black shirt and jeans. I was suddenly overtaken with the impression that the world really did move on without him for the past 15 years and that we are suddenly becoming re-acquainted with someone who obviously took the time to mature and perfect his game. Let me explain.

When he first announced his comeback two years ago, it was a disaster. He had strung together a freak show of a band that he obviously didn't fit in with (or respect) and was plagued with stories of brawls and show cancellations. They were obviously trying to hold onto the torch that has long been unlit. Obviously learning from his mistakes, what I saw before me was an artist who culled together a nice adult band comprised of virtuosos and jammers who could easily fit in as Joe Cocker's group. It was shocking. It was as if he shed his "Appetite" skin and is now able to focus on something else entirely. Really weird stuff considering the last version of him I saw was a coked-up wife-beater on the road to destruction.

Live, the group played their classics ranging from the fast to the slow. It’s obvious that his voice (which was always plagued with problems since the beginning) no longer has the power to carry like it used to and the sound, for the faster/louder songs at least, were subdued and very tame. I was put off by this at first because the only thing audible at a respectable Rock 'N Roll level was his voice and whatever solo was being played. Frankly, if the sound arrangements were done otherwise, Axl would have been completely drowned out. On the plus side, the slower ballads were perfect and were actually the most pleasurable part of the whole experience: I can totally see Axl doing a small club tour in the future, just him, his piano and a guitarist.

So there you have it, two hours and a half, all the classics, one encore, five new songs (insert Chinese Democracy jokes here) and a very upbeat and surprisingly appreciative -- I can even say HUMBLE -- Axl. I have no clue where his current journey will take him, but if 15 years made him what I saw last night, he is definitely on the right path. At 2:30 am, the car ride was quiet on the way home (everyone was fast asleep, jerkoffs!), but looking into the barren countryside of the 417 on my way back to QC, I couldn't help but smile and realize that Rock 'N Roll isn't dead, it just traded its leather jacket and bandana for a smoking blazer and a nice pair of shoes.

Great, mature and professional Rock 'N Roll that was stained by an unfortunate appearance by Sebastien Bach. He even came onstage with Axl and gushed like a little school boy. Blergh!

[Jo Satana doesn't work here anymore, but he keeps sending us stuff.]