The Katy Perry Halftime Show Spectacular- A Review

February 2 2015 // Kenny Chatoor // Magazine // Features

‘Roar! Yeah Baby ooh Baby yeah!’

As many of you know, last night a Sports happened. The annual event, known colloquially as the ‘Super-Bowl’ involves a contraindicated mixture of homemade nachos of questionable quality to be guzzled down with what I am assuming is micro brewed beer. It’s the one thing we all do collectively as North Americans so I hoped you watch because who’s side are you on? Seriously, 120 million people watched this thing last year, making it the most watched television event of all time, topping the MASH finale. Fun facts, right? Does anyone even remember MASH? It doesn’t matter.

What matters is today we have an overstuffed feedbag of memes, GIFS, and other assorted internet treats, mostly due to one of pop-culture’s most sacred traditions, the Super Bowl half-time show. There were lingering questions preceding this event, primarily (and secretly hopefully) if innocent hoards of drunk people would be exposed to NETHER REGIONS. Or god forbid, accidental sliding crotch shots? (thanks Springsteen).

Knowing that most of the audience would not be sober, myself included, Katy Perry went all out bringing to the world a cocktail of Technicolor madness oddly reminiscent of the Vancouver Olympics opening ceremony. Included was a giant metal tiger as well as a chess game which was meant to remind us of that classic time when Harry, Ron and Hermoine had to play a real-life chess game in order to get to the Sorcerer’s Stone to stop Lord Voldermort, as it was prophesized. There were dancing sharks, magical colorful glowing balls, fancy lights, and what I am fairly certain was a hologram of Lenny Kravitz.

‘Welcome to the future, my friends’- Lenny Kravitz Hologram.

And Missy Elliot was there! She performed a medley of her classic hits, including ‘Work It’ and ‘Get Yr Freak On’ while Katy Perry had one of her many classic outfit changes. As bizarre and blatantly trippy as this was, it was pretty great. Missy is back, folks. I hope all of you took the opportunity to tweet out how ‘badass’ and ‘throwback’ this was.

‘Champagne isn’t for dogs.’-Woofus, the dog.

Katy performed a medley of all of her greatest hits including 'Roar', 'Firework', 'Dark Horse' (without the cultural misappropriation), 'I Kissed a Girl' and 'California Gurls'. And 'Teenage Dream', guys! I love that song, and you do too, no matter what you say. In the end, she performed her musical equivalent of a serotonin shot, ‘Firework’. Magic was employed, as Katy began to float upon a magical platform, with rainbows and stars, and as alluded to in the song title, fireworks. Overall it was something to see, something to hear, and most importantly, something to tell people you saw at work today. And yeah I think the New England Patriots won… something? Congrats Gisele!

#bbyrafirework #never4get #becarefullkaty!

Rating: 8 Nachos chips, 3 sliced jalapenos, a tablespoon of spicy salsa, 2 cups of shredded cheese, and a half can of Coors Light.

--Kenny Chatoor is former CJLO radio DJ and magazine contributor currently living in Ontario, "Yeah things are good, there is definitely nothing like CJLO in Toronto though, which is a bummer."