The Planet Smashers + The Dreadnoughts + The Resignators @ Club Soda

In the mid-2000s, Ottawa’s punk scene was weird. At least, I think it was. It seemed like, at the time, “punk” served as a catch-all term for all things alternative. Maybe this also applied to the “alternative/underground” music scenes existing in other less cultured, kinda-big cities. I’m not really sure. There is the possibility that other Canadian Blandsville escapees to Montreal can relate to my musical upbringing/show-going career 100%. Anyway, during this period your typical “punk” show may have been comprised of one mildly electro-goth act, one crust-punk group and one ska band. Thanks to local promoters’ desperate attempts to flesh out a show’s lineup, I became oddly familiar with the local underground ska scene, as did my friends who were equally uninterested in the genre of music but very interested in hanging out in a non-suburban context. I became familiar with some of the practices of ska kids and the conventions of ska shows (hello, circle skanking!) but, due to my lack of interest in the genre, I never cared enough to investigate ska music on a national or international level. Basically, I never really knew if ska was all that popular in the 21st century or if it was primarily restricted to small, all ages venues scattered across North America. After seeing The Planet Smashers perform at Club Soda, one of Montreal’s bigger venues, I can assure you that a fairly large group of local teenagers totally dig the ska. As for myself, I’m not so interested, but you probably guessed that already.

I got to Club Soda just before 8 pm (on time for once), and the place looked nearly deserted. It was the kind of crowd I had in mind – a couple of small groups of neon-haired girls and band-shirt-wearing fanboys here and there, as well as a few dozen party-hardy older dudes who looked like the “joker/funny guy” (aka: fat guy) of their group of friends, most of whom sat alone in the balcony section of the venue. Aside from those dudes, the crowd looked overwhelmingly young, yet somehow able to purchase beer. Given these variables, I expected a pretty sloppy 3 hours that I was certainly not prepared for this early in the evening. I decided to park myself on the balcony, away from any potential debauchery, for the first opening act, The Resignators, who ended up being the most impressive act of the night, by far.

In the grand scheme of music forever, the Resignators are decent, if not fine, and, in the context of the show I was attending on March 4th, they were actually pretty good. Their lead singer fucking ruled; that singular factor drew me in, and it made me want to know more about them. Apparently, they’re Australian, but the group’s chunky, older lead singer had one of my favourite types of rock and roll voices, which is hard to describe but sounds vaguely British. He was surprisingly nimble and danced like a maniac. Plus, he seems like a cool guy, and part of me hoped he had kids. He would be the coolest dad of all time. I decided that for a good chunk of the set, The Resignators sounded like Gang of Four if they were a ska band. Most of the audience sitting around me left the balcony for the dance floor, which was totally understandable. The band had an incredible energy, a great sound hybrid of vintage rock and roll and ska, a really cool organ and a kick-ass front man. I officially declare this the best ska set I’ve ever seen.

Up next were The Dreadnoughts, and all I have to say is “BOO!” Take note, I’m not saying “BRUUUCE” as in Springsteen, I’m saying “BOO!” as in “YOU FUCKING SUCK!” After The Resignators, I figured it would be worth it to get closer to the stage for the rest of the night, so I snuck up to the front of the stage just in time for The Dreadnought’s mildly comical set. They’re from Vancouver and they play straightforward Irish-folk tinged… punk? You know, like the Dropkick Murphys without the advantage of being in a Martin Scorsese movie. I’ll admit, I’ve seen the Dropkick Murpheys twice, and enjoyed it at least once (after seeing The Departed), so I can’t say this weird Irish Punk hybrid genre that is so inexplicably popular is my least favourite kind of music; it’s funny! The Dreadnoughts’ set started out with the singer feeding minors beer from the stage, and that was the most commendable part of it. Lots of stomping, deep voiced hollerin’, violin/fiddling you could never hear, fist pumping… yikes! There was a fair bit of ‘kidding around’ too; at one point, two members of the band mimed sexual intercourse using a banana and jar of peanut butter. Real mature, frat boys. I felt like I was stuck in the Irish Pub from Hell stoned out of my wits; each song melded into the next because they basically sounded the exact same and, oh, all the shouting! Oh, the sea-shanties! I’m on a sailboat down the River Styx! Make it stop!

The final group to play was, of course, the Planet Smashers. I had to really think about whether I had seen them live in the past. I figured that with the lack of shows and the proliferation of musical diversity in the O-Dot circa 2005, seeing this band would have been a last resort option to get drunk with my friends at least once. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that this was my first time seeing them; while they were able to keep the crowd excited and dancing for most of their set, objectively their performance felt one-note, surprisingly dull and overall anti-climactic. Maybe it was the simplicity of their musical arrangements (standard choppy pop-punk with some horns) in contrast to their openers, or maybe the sound guy literally forgot to turn up the volume for their set, I don’t know. The music itself was somehow so subdued that had they played this set towards the beginning of their career, I’m 99% sure half the crowd would have left. I don’t understand how a band playing a genre of music that’s so inherently bouncy and fun could sound so unenthused. In addition to the lack of musical energy, the band members themselves had zero stage presence; the sole exception was their horn player, who looked like John Belushi. I can imagine that The Planet Smashers may have put on a pretty fun show back in the day (I’ve seen a few pictures that could qualify as looking fun anyway), but after over a decade of trying to keep up that intensity, I guess they just got tired. I’m sure they have other things to do, like care for their kids and clean the house and whatnot. Normal people things. How excited can you be to sing dumbass songs about “hot chicks” you wrote in your teens all night when you have a mortgage to worry about?!

-Kelly K hosts Cut Your Hair and Get a Job every Tuesday from 1-2pm