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Ensiferum at Théâtre Corona, Jan 9 2019

Truth be told, I hadn’t delved into Ensiferum’s music before summer 2017 when I caught them at Montebello Rockfest. I was, however, turned into an instant fan when their pulsating anthems roared into my unsuspecting ears. Really, what I learned that day was the strength of Ensiferum’s music, and their most recent visit to Montreal’s Corona Theatre (all the way from Finland no less) further confirmed it. You don’t need to be an Ensiferum fan to enjoy their show. The melodic nature of their songwriting is enough to sing along to just about any of their songs, while being fast and aggressive at the same time. The dash of folk music (which really can be summed up to the use of accordions, among other unusual instruments) adds to the feel-good vibe. Going to an Ensiferum concert is like enjoying the banquet after your monthly Viking raid, with drinking, chanting, moshing and quite a lot of dancing. I was only disappointed by the pre-recorded accordion and keyboards, accordion player Netta Skog having quit early last year.

There were not too many surprises in the setlist. Despite their lackluster reception, Ensiferum played a fair bit off of their last two records, Two Paths and One Man Army, which translated pretty well in a live setting. They gave an energetic performance and created an enthusiastic crowd with songs like “For Those About to Fight for Metal”, “Way of the Warrior” and the strange “Two of Spades”, which provided a cool change of pace with its disco flair. Ultimately, it was very clear that most of the crowd was eager to hear their favourites of olde, such as the ever so classic “Iron”, “Guardians of Fate” and my personal favourite “Wanderer”. One of Ensiferum’s many excellent epics would have been welcome, but, in the end, each of their records was represented.

Supporting act Septicflesh provided a much different vibe, focusing on dissonant riffs and bolstered by frontman Seth Siro Anton's powerful commands. I cannot overstate how exciting their set was due to his battle cries. The orchestral-laden songs helped guide us through otherwise incredibly brutal death metal, making each moment feel like a scene from 300 with the armour-clad Greek warriors towering over the crowd. Along with an intricate light-show, their set was a sight to behold, smoke and light patterns abound. I would not miss them next time they came around.

Along with the Finns and Greeks came Sweden’s Arsis, a straight forward death-thrash band. Although definitely less flashy than what came after them, a strong dose of energy kicked the show into gear. They provided a great contrast to our local boys in The Unconscious Mind, who played a set of new songs to a large early-bird crowd.

Concerts like these are more than worth the price of admission. Don’t miss Ensiferum or Sepcticflesh next time they’re in town for a good time, and watch out for new material from Arsis and The Unconcsious Mind on the horizon. Horns up!

Women's March in MTL, Lawsuit to stop open-net salmon farming in BC, Baby formula bandits caught.

LOCAL

The freezing cold and the snow did not deter protesters from participating in the third annual Women’s March on Saturday. 

 

The march in Montreal was one of the many marches that took place  around the world in solidarity with the thousands who marched towards the White House in Washington, D.C.

 

CBC reports, since its inception in 2017, the march has become an annual event where women come together to highlight issues of misogyny, transphobia and racism.

 

NATIONAL

The federal government is facing a lawsuit from B.C’s First Nation community to stop open-net salmon farming on their lands.

 

According to APTN news, The Dzawada’enuxw (za-wah-day-nook) First Nation of Kingcome wants Canada to remove 10 salmon farms from their traditional waters located in the Broughton Archipelago northeast of Vancouver Island. The claim argues that the federal government authorized fish farm licenses without their consultation or consent.

 

The DFN has had a no open-net fish farms policy for 30 years and have been actively protesting against the government for the past three years.

 

The Dzawada’enuxw community is also against the open-net farms because of the risk they pose to the already low salmon stocks.

 

INTERNATIONAL

 

It seems Australian baby formulas are a hot-ticket item in China these days.

 

According to BBC, Australian police confirmed they had busted members of an “expansive” criminal gang which specialized in stealing baby formula for illegal sale in China.

 

The stolen goods are valued at more than 700, 000 thousand dollars.

 

Australian baby-formula nicknamed, “white-gold” for its healthier contents is so sought after in China, it sells for over $100 a tin.

 

Unfortunately, for the criminals, the case was brought to police’s attention due the baby-formula shortage the Australian public was experiencing.

 

EMSB Investigation, Ontario Health Overhaul, Death Penalty for Canadian

Hosted by Alexandre Denis

Stories by Luca Caruso-Moro and Alexandre Denis

 

________________________________________________________________

 

LOCAL

The province is investigating the English Montreal School Board over alleged ethics violations and financial mismanagement.

According to Education Minister Jean-Francois Roberge these allegations have been reported for years.

The investigation has started despite the CAQ’s vow to abolish school boards to increase school’s autonomy.

NATIONAL

The Ontario Premier Doug Ford is likely to overhaul the province’s health care governing bodies, according to a CBC investigation.

Currently, health care funding is managed by 14 health care coordination networks. After the possible overhaul, the responsibility would fall to only 5.

Those in favour say the shift will make contact between hospitals and the public smoother.

INTERNATIONAL

That’s the sound of Canadian Robert Lloyd Schellenberg being sentenced to death live on a Chinese television broadcast this week.

Schallenberg was found guilty of drug smuggling.

Trudeau expressed concern toward what he considers an an arbitrary use of the death penalty.

 

Live Out Your Hunger Games Dreams at Dodgebow Archery

Do you miss those days when you walked into gym class and the teacher told you dodge ball was what you’d be playing? Have you ever watched The Hunger Games and all of a sudden wished you could shoot a bow and arrow like Katniss Everdeen? Ever thought of combining these two sports?

Well, think no more! Dodgebow Archery is just that. Located in Saint-Henri, Dodgebow lets you relive your childhood while letting you live out your inner The Hunger Games fantasies in a fun and safe environment. It is a perfect “Sunday Funday” activity for families as well as a great Saturday evening with friends. With the help of an animator, 24-36 people can play the following game modes: No Loyalty, Mandown, Zombies and Bullseye. All games are a work out and you’ll be running around, ducking, dodging and aiming for people and targets.

I had no idea what I was getting into. I didn’t read any of the descriptions or watch any videos of it. Even though I went into the activity blind, I had so much fun. It does take a few shots to get the hang of of it but after a few rounds, I was shooting like a pro. Grab your family members or a group of friends and book your time slot on their website, you’ll surely have plenty of fun and laughter.

The Internet at MTELUS, Dec 8 2018

The Hive Mind Tour by The Internet and Moonchild came through Montreal at MTELUS on Dec 8 2018 with a concert incomparable to any I have ever seen.

After attending the meet and greet, I watched as hundreds of fans gathered, gazing at three horns and two sets of keyboards on the stage in anticipation. Moonchild started off the night with a fun upbeat tempo tune “The List,” A track off their latest album entitled Voyager. Once Moonchild walked onto the stage, The neo-soul trio captivated the audience with the whimsical melodies of their flute clarinet and keys, then the jazzy hip hop in their beats, complimented by the sax and trumpet.

As always, Moonchild's energy was 100 per cent. The acoustics could have been better, but they still came through with that energy, leaving the audience mesmerized after every solo and musical peak. I must say I love lead singer Amber Navran’s spunky personality and funky dance moves on stage.

Considering that Moonchild is a multi-instrumentalist band, Voyager includes many instrumental ambient songs and euphoric performances. This really gave the audience a chance to just vibe, and enjoy songs like “6 AM.” Two days after releasing the track "Get to Know it,” Moonchild shared a bit about the meaning of the song,  followed by a live premiere of the tune at MTELUS.

Finally, The Internet. Patrick, Steve, Matt, and Chris hop on their instruments, and the lights rise from the floor up to the balcony as “Come Together” grew from a silent hum, to a loud roar. Moments before her first verse, lead singer Syd hit the stage electrifying the crowd. I couldn’t wait to dance to some of my favourites like “La Di Da”, “Beat Goes On” and “Burbank Funk”.

Syd shared some insight as she mentioned her battle with depression as she sings “It Gets Better (with Time).”

After a night of singing, dancing, talking, laughing, and making new friends, we did not want the show to end. The crowd went crazy one final time, with a solid minute of screaming and clapping and roaring love.

As I was leaving, I saw Moonchild just standing, chilling and waiting to greet the audience as they left. I went over and before I could even say anything, Amber enthusiastically said “Hey I saw your cover of “The List” and I was feelin’ it so much!” She gave me a hug, and saved my album onto her phone. Certainly another highlight of the night. I forgot I had been speaking with celebrities. Both sets of band members were all just so humble and down to earth, genuinely here for the music.

Both bands are on hiatus for the moment. The Internet will be performing in South Africa for New Years eye, Thailand in February of 2019, and in April The Hive Mind Tour will reach Europe, sharing their good vibes and music with the world.


Aliah Guerra is a Singer/Songwriter and host of Concordia Music Zone Out on CJLO 1690AM

ALCOHOL-FREE BREWERY, PIPELINE PROTEST IN THE WEST, NEW HOME FOR SAUDI WOMAN.

Hosted by Erdene Batzorig

Stories by Erdene Batzorig

 

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LOCAL

What reason could a brewery have for going alcohol-free?

 

Employees at Aux Fous Brassant in Rivière-du-Loup are taking on a 28-day sobriety challenge in February to raise money for Fondation Jean Lapointe, an organization that supports substance abuse and addiction treatment in Quebec.

 

According to CBC, owner Éric Viens said that this initiative is also meant to encourage people who are sober all year round and those who act as designated drivers.

 

The brewery will be replacing the alcoholic beverages with other alternatives like kombucha, cider and cold-pressed coffee.

 

So do you think you can the 28-day sobriety challenge?

NATIONAL

On Saturday, hundreds of people gathered in downtown Vancouver to protest against the proposed pipeline to be built through northern B.C.

 

The protesters marched in support of Wet'suwet'en hereditary chief's opposition to the Coastal GasLink project to move natural gas from northeastern B.C. to the coast.

 

According to CBC, protesters also voiced their concern over the effect the pipeline extension will have on the environment, holding signs with messages such, “the climate is changing, why aren't we?"

 

Earlier in the week, multiple people were arrested at a checkpoint outside Smithers B.C. for protecting the Wet'suwet'en territories from pipeline workers and RCMP officers.

INTERNATIONAL

A Saudi women who pleaded for help on Twitter while fleeing from her family has been welcomed to Canada as a refugee.

 

According to National Post, Prime Minister J. Trudeau announced that the federal government was asked by the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees to allow Rahaf Mohammed Al-qunun to settle in Canada,

“That is something that we are pleased to do because Canada is a country that understands how important it is to stand up for human rights, to stand up for women’s rights around the world,”

 

Al-qunun launched a social media campaign after running away from her family to Bangkok. She barricaded herself in a hotel room, and wrote on Twitter, that she was afraid and that her family would kill her if she returned home.

Jorja Smith at MTELUS, Dec 18 2018

Photo: Louis Pavlakos

Performing at her sold out show on Tuesday December 19th at MTELUS, the lovely Jorja Smith blessed us with her amazing vocal range and an unforgettable tone.

Before walking into the concert, it was clear Smith has captured the hearts of a particularly trendy crowd. From long trench coats to hipster hats, the throng of young UK inspired fashionistas were serving looks all night. It was marvellous.

The stage decoration was a simple long red drape and accompanied by strong theatre lights scattered around. The concert focused on the music thus unaccompanied by any backup dancers, singers or any extra fla fla. The spotlight was on Smith and it made for a more intimate show for us to be a part of. The second she walked on stage, cellphones flew up and the crowd went wild. Everyone knew they were in the presence of a queen. She wore a short fitted dress with her signature hair in bun look. I could hear everyone whisper about how beautiful she was and it it’s true. She is a stunner!

The best part of the show was the talented band that accompanied her. It sounded exactly like the album Lost & Found, adding some soulful solos in between songs which blew us all away. Popular musicians aren’t always great live performers. Some concerts are filled with pitchy vocals and mistakes but Jorja Smith’s was the exact opposite. She didn’t sing one flat note. It is clear she has some kind of operatic vocal training because the girl can SING! While technically proficient, the concert lacked a storytelling element. It was clear that it was the end of her tour and she must have been exhausted. I would have loved to hear more about her songs and her story. I found myself wanting to connect more with her but couldn’t, due to the lack of exchange between herself and the audience. It seemed a little too rehearsed.

That being said if you are looking to spend the evening with your loved one while listening to beautifully sung love songs, this is the concert for you! Be ready for a  swarm of fans singing along to every word of every song. She is clearly a sweet, shy and kind soul that has a gift and is learning how to share it. She was extremely thankful to her fans and wished us all a safe ride home. She clearly knows where she is going now. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Deidra Chois is a Jazz Studies Vocalist, a former La Voix contestant, and host of Feels Radio on CJLO 1690AM

Saint-Laurent Emissions, Barricade Breakers, Thalidomide Survivors.

Hosted by Luca Caruso-Moro

Stories by Luca Caruso-Moro

 

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LOCAL

The Saint-Laurent borough is celebrating a steady decrease in greenhouse gas emissions.

A report revealed at this week’s council meeting showed a 21 per cent decrease in emissions in the since 1990, even though the region’s population has grown by about 30 thousand.

More compost collection, public transportation, and reduced commercial gas use are said to be the cause of the decrease.

Mayor Alan DeSousa hopes to slash another 9 per cent of emissions by 2020

ALAN DESOUSA: “We hear a lot of people say that they plan to do things. They talk about setting high objectives. But actually, when we look at the facts, it’s more important to do things.”

NATIONAL

The RCMP has broken down the barricade put up by the Unis’tot’en people.

The barricade was put up to prevent the Coastal Gaslink pipeline from being built through 190 kilometres of Wet'suwet'en territory, about 3 hours west of Prince George.

After the RCMP broke through, 14 people were arrested.

ANOTHER NATIONAL

Canada will increase compensation to survivors of thalidomide, a drug marketed to women in the sixties to treat morning sickness,

Children of mothers on thalidomide were born with disabilities such as underdeveloped limbs and deafness.

Under the new policy, survivors will receive 250 thousand dollars compensation and 1 million dollars yearly for medical expenses.  

 

CJLO Top 100 of 2018

Hear ye, hear ye! Gather round for CJLO’s top hundo of 2018!

OK, technically it’s the CJLO top 101 due to the tie at #100 but you get the point… I know it’s already a week into this so-called ‘new year’, but we mustn’t dismiss the past so soon as to commit cultural amnesia! Before we delve boldly into this strange future, let’s take a moment to reflect on the year that was in music at CJLO 1690 AM.

2018 was my first year as CJLO’s Head Music Director, and it’s been a privilege to serve. Happily, I am able to report that as a station we played tons of great music this past year. Our #1 record of 2018 by a landslide is ‘In a Poem Unlimited’ from U.S. Girls, aka Meg Remy. Her second record for 4AD captured the hearts of the indie world, flexing pop potency, lyrical depth, and righteous grooves. I had the good fortune of seeing U.S. Girls both at SXSW and Sappyfest in 2018, and they are perhaps an even more powerful force live than recorded; goosebumps and shakin’ rumps every time.

Our year-end chart can be seen to reflect a more general trend in 2018 of female artists and female-fronted bands coming to dominate campus and community radio, with women leading the way on 77% of the year’s NACC charts. It’s about time; Indie rock has been calling for this for a while now. The emergence of Riot Grrrl is now decades in the rearview mirror, and it's been 20 years since ally and luminary Jim O’Rourke sang: “women of the world take over, ‘cause if you don’t the world will come to an end; it won’t take long”. Certainly, much work remains to make the world a more inclusive and equitable place, but perhaps this shake up in college radio rulers is cause for optimism in these sordid times. I for one have always believed that underground art, music, and thought leads the way in cultural transformation, and that lasting change is just as likely to spring from the bottom up as it is to be imposed from the top o' the pops.

Of course, it wouldn’t be CJLO without staunch support for our incredible local talent: Ought, Helena Deland, Silver Dapple, Suuns, Tunguska Mammoth, Choses Sauvages, Jai Nitai Lotus, and Tess Roby were all in heavy rotation, just to name a few. This is not even to mention the shameless self promotion of our own ‘Burned In The Oven’ Compilation which landed at #2. Speaking of comps, stay tuned for a fresh one this year in honour of our 20th anniversary, which will feature 20 artists who have graced our studios! Also, a special shout-out to Spectral Wound at #4 – a truly killer black metal band featuring our outgoing production director Patrick McDowall. As an exceedingly enjoyable person to work with who expertly recorded literally hundreds of sessions, he will be sorely missed. To hear some of his work check out the aforementioned comps! I should mention also that the fact SW is #4 was not influenced by him personally - he’s a dude as humble as he is talented.

Without further ado here’s our 100 most played artists of 2018, along with an audible version via Spotify playlist that runs from #100 – #1. A few releases were left off the playlist if they were not on Spotify or date back to 2017. Kudos to Andrew W. for painstakingly amalgamating our chart data for the entire year, and Angelica C. for the stellar graphic!

*Our charts are compiled from actual airplay, broadcast live on 1690 AM in the Montreal region, as well as via our website at www.cjlo.com denotes Canadian Content

RANK           ARTIST                                                             ALBUM


1              U.S GIRLS                                                     IN A POEM UNLIMITED

2              VARIOUS                                                       CJLO 1690AM PRESENTS: BURNED IN THE OVEN: VOLUME 2

3              MITSKI                                                                 BE THE COWBOY

4              SPECTRAL WOUND                                     INFERNAL DECADENCE

5              OUGHT                                                          ROOM INSIDE THE WORLD

6              PEACH KELLI POP                                       GENTLE LEADER

7              TUNGUSKA MAMMOTH                               BREATHLESS

8              SUUNS                                                          FELT

9              CANCER BATS                                             THE SPARK THAT MOVES

10            MICHAEL RAULT                                          IT'S A NEW DAY TONIGHT

11            DILLY DALLY                                                 HEAVEN

12            PREOCCUPATIONS                                     NEW MATERIAL

13            YAMANTAKA // SONIC TITAN                      DIRT

14            THE GREAT SABATINI                                 GOODBYE AUDIO

15            HELENA DELAND                                         ALTOGETHER UNACCOMPANIED VOL III & IV

16            SILVER DAPPLE                                           MOODY BOOTS

17            NAP EYES                                                     I'M BAD NOW

18            SOCCER MOMMY                                                CLEAN

19            FUCKED UP                                                  DOSE YOUR DREAMS

20            CHOSES SAUVAGES                                   CHOSES SAUVAGES

21            GREBER                                                       CEMETERY PRESTON

22            ASTRAL SWANS                                          STRANGE PRISON

23            TESS ROBY                                                  BEACON

24            COURTNEY BARNETT                                       TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL

25            JAI NITAI LOTUS                                          AFFIRMATIONS

26            CLOUD NOTHINGS                                            LAST BUILDING BURNING

27            DIRT CANNON                                             WHAT EATS YOU

28            SLOAN                                                          12

29            CADENCE WEAPON                                   CADENCE WEAPON

30            IDLES                                                                 JOY AS AN ACT OF RESISTANCE.

31            HEATHERS                                                  MIDNIGHT IS A PLACE

32            PONCTUATION                                           MON HERBIER DU MONDE

33            BIRDS OF PARADISE                                 ESTO AMOR

34            OH SEES                                                            SMOTE REVERSER

35            VANTABLACK WARSHIP                           ABRASIVE PULMONIC SPEAK

36            BLACK MILK                                                      FEVER

37            FRIGS                                                          BASIC BEHAVIOUR

38            PARQUET COURTS                                          WIDE AWAKE!

38            LIE                                                               HOUNDS

40            KURT VILE                                                        BOTTLE IT IN

41            JENNIFER CASTLE                                   ANGELS OF DEATH

42            VALLENS                                                   DIMMED IN MY DISPLAY

43            WASHING MACHINE                                 WALK IT BACK

44            LA LUZ                                                              FLOATING FEATURES

45            LOOK VIBRANT                                        THE UP HERE PLACE  

46            HER'S                                                                INVITATION TO HER'S

47            FAITH HEALER                                          TRY ;-)

48            GRAND ANALOG                                      SURVIVIAL EP

49            SNAIL MAIL                                                      LUSH

50            CAULDRON                                               NEW GODS 

50            STRIKER                                                   PLAY TO WIN

52            HOT SNAKES                                                  JERICHO SIRENS

53            LONELY PARADE                                    THE PITS

54            CHANHAYS                                              THE CREEPY EP

55            LOW                                                                DOUBLE NEGATIVE

56            CHANHAYS                                              HERE

57            DEAD CENTURIES                                  RACE AGAINST TIME    

58            ALVVAYS                                                  ANTISOCIALITES            

59            HELENA DELAND                                   ALTOGETHER UNACCOMPANIED VOL I & II

60            SHEM G                                                   ONE OF MANY

61            TIM HECKER                                           KONOYO

62            GHOST                                                           PREQUELLE

63            BERNICE                                                 PUFF: IN THE AIR WITHOUT A SHAPE

64            WAAHLI                                                   BLACK SOAP

65            FREAK HEAT WAVES                            BEYOND XXXL

66            DUSTED                                                  BLACKOUT SUMMER

67            RITUAL MASTER                                    A HORRIFIC RETURN

68            SWEARIN'                                                      FALL INTO THE SUN

69            SHANNON SHAW                                         SHANNON IN NASHVILLE

70            KEN MODE                                             LOVED

71            MELLEVON                                            COVET

72            LITTLE JUNIOR                                      HI

73            KRISTIAN NORTH                                 THE LAST ROCK N ROLL RECORD

74            BORN RUFFIANS                                  UNCLE, DUKE & THE CHIEF

74            HOP ALONG                                                 BARK YOUR HEAD OFF, DOG           

76            WAKE                                                     MISERY RITES

76            JOCK TEARS                                        BAD BOYS

76            BOYGENIUS                                                BOYGENIUS

79            SHAD                                                     A SHORT STORY ABOUT A WAR

80            INTERPOL                                                   MARAUDER     

81            ANVIL                                                   POUNDING THE PAVEMENT

82            CHAD VANGAALEN                            LIGHT INFORMATION

83            JO PASSED                                         THEIR PRIME

84            DEVON WELSH                                   DREAM SONGS

85            CHANCE THE RAPPER                             FOUR NEW SONGS

86            ODONIS ODONIS                                NO POP

86            CHASTITY                                           DEATH LUST

88            THE DIRTY NIL                                   MASTER VOLUMES

89            CAR SEAT HEADREST                            TWIN FANTASY

90            ANDREW WK                                            YOU'RE NOT ALONE

91            ARTSON                                                    BRAVE STAR

92           JUDAS PRIEST                                          FIREPOWER

93           BEACH HOUSE                                         7

93           BASEMENT REVOLVER                    HEAVY EYES

95           NIGHTSEEKER                                   3069: A SPACE-ROCK SEX ODYSSEY

96           STEPHEN MALKMUS                               SPARKLE HARD

96           JESSICA MOSS                                  ENTAGLEMENT

98           DEVIN TOWNSEND                            OCEAN MACHINE - LIVE

98           RYAN PLAYGROUND                         16/17

100         JESUSLESFILLES                             DANIEL

100         CALVIN JOHNSON                                   A WONDERFUL BEAST

 

The Force Academy: Montreal’s Star Wars Themed Activity Centre

 

As a child of the 80’s, let’s just say that I grew up surrounded by Star Wars products, be it school notebooks, shirts, coloring books, posters, trading cards and stickers, SW-related TV specials (yes, I saw the Ewok Adventure’s initial airing), or of course, the toys. I’ve always found the franchise wonderful, as it attracts diehard fans of all ages.

To begin, I will admit that as fantastic as the phenomenon is, I am not a diehard fan of Star Wars: I am a Trekkie (yes, I know…). However, this never stopped me from watching anything Star Wars related. Us Trekkies love to explore, which was kind of the theme of Star Trek. And so, when I was offered a chance to review Montreal’s very own SW-themed activity center, The Force Academy, I was delighted.

I invited my co-worker along for the ride. He’s also seen all the movies, but is a casual fan. I didn’t invite a diehard fan to avoid a biased review.

The building itself seems unassuming. There are no land speeders or droids parked in the lobby. We really had to double-check to make sure that we were in the right place. When we made our way up to the venue, we were already pretty impressed. It’s a large dojo with plenty of room to move around. The space is slightly dark with some colored lights, giving it a somewhat cinematic feel.

So what did I think about the activity itself? 2 words : Innovative and awesome!

Not only did I find it cool to wield lightsabers (they make noises when swung), but you actually get a very complete workout. I, myself, am a person who frequents the gym 3-4 times a week and I even had a hard time keeping up with all the drills. The program starts with your Jedi-master/sensei teaching you the basics (feet position, how to hold a lightsaber, general house and safety rules). Once that is out of the way, welcome to Jedi-Bootcamp!

No, you do not have to do jumping jacks or jump through tires, but the exercises given to you are equally as challenging and difficult. You will have to simulate a fight, while constantly jumping up in the air (to avoid a leg strike) and dropping to your knees and the ground (in order to teach you that the fight continues even if your legs get cut off/injured in battle) and jumping right back up. I find that the fighting-style itself is a combination of different styles of fencing and martial arts, which is cool because the idea behind the whole activity is to introduce you to real combat. The saber itself is also a bit heavy, definitely not one of those cheap ones that you buy from Wal-Mart, so wielding one continuously for a good hour actually makes your arms sore (your dominant arm will definitely feel it). At the end of the lesson and drills, you and your partner will be instructed to come up with your very own battle choreography using the techniques that you’ve learned.

Once you’ve shown the choreography to the instructor, you will be told to fight your partner in a lightsaber duel. Not only do you use your weapons, but you are also allowed to use “The Force” to push your opponent back, which gives the training a bit of that sci-fi element to it. You are not allowed to hit your opponent harder than a soft tap, therefore, it is highly unlikely that you will be injured or even hurt via a blow from the saber. The duel is quite safe.

I love the idea and the resulting possibilities that can arise from this activity. The Star Wars geeks of my era were mostly out-of-shape people à la Kevin Smith. Enter The Force Academy: the one SW-themed activity where their uber-fanhood cannot save them. No matter how much Star Wars paraphernalia they own, how many obscure trivia questions they can answer, or how many times they’ve seen anything related to Star Wars in their lives, none of that will prepare them for The Force Academy.

I loved it and will definitely be back, however, I’ll be sure to eat a full breakfast on the day of my next booking. This is rather intense training, especially for those who sit in front of a computer all day. Come prepared and ready to sweat!

I hope that word of The Force Academy spreads like wildfire and that they eventually open more locations. If there is any wayy to lure the Star Wars uber-geeks out of their dens and pursue physical exercise/combat training, then this is it. In fact, it might actually be their only hope.

Mike Vo, or DJ Mister Vee, is the host of CJLO’s Beats from the East.

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