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Did anyone else miss the memo about nu rave? I sure did, and it's hard for me to preface this review with almost anything due to my utter lack of knowledge pertaining to the genre. I know more about the Judd family than I do about nu-rave, mostly because of my unhealthy Oprah intake. Also, I currently have no internet. This didn't help me figure out what 'nu rave' meant before I went to see the Klaxons who are, in my mind, the only nu rave band to have existed ever. When I ask my equally electro-ignorant roommates about the genre, they say it sounds "…kind of like New Order, but not really at all". This information is basically useless, leaving me with few expectations for Saturday night. Thems the breaks.

I recall reading about the Klaxons only once in an issue of Spin magazine when they were some kind of new and exciting "it" band for about five minutes. This article has been my reference point for the band going on about 3 years now, and because they were associated with a quasi-rave scene I immediately assumed they were "shitty and dumb". Oh, the number of times I've commented on the absurdity of raving using those exact same eloquent adjectives. If you take a look at my notes from the 'Raver' week of my Youth Cultures class, you'll see doodles of stars, pacifiers and stick people vomiting surround the words "RAVES SUX THEY'RE SHITTY AND DUMB!!!!" All the kids I know who ever went to raves drank jello shooters, had houses that were inexplicably filled with toys and paraphernalia meant for small children though no kids were to be seen and were super into driving their parents vans that somehow always wreaked of Cheetos. Then whenever I'd see them eating Cheetos I'd be like "Ew, that's gross" and couldn't stop looking at their orange fingernails and lips during class cause I knew their whole fucking life basically revolved around Cheetos and raving. The idea of a room full of these nasty little cheesy creatures sweating Cheeto stink fucked up on Ecstasy and grinding up against one another made, and continues to make me feel queasy. So you can only imagine what thoughts and scents penetrated my being when I approached the Cabaret Juste Pour Rire to find a small group of neon haired and hooded kids waiting outside for the show: Cheetos, Cheetos, Cheetos.

I go inside and sit in the balcony section of the venue's smaller theatre. It turns out some other super shitty band is playing the larger one and I thank God I didn't volunteer to sit through that atrocity because, it too, sounded dumb and shitty. The small theatre is pretty empty and apparently the show starts at 8:30, which is fifteen minutes or so from when I take a seat. For once I'm on time and I totally regret it. Everyone is waiting and looks bored and no one appears to be on drugs, which is not something I like to see. At all, in life. While I wait I people watch but despite the few candy kids up front, everyone's a normie, totally bland and awful for people watching. There are a couple of 40-something dudes hanging around with sweaters tied around their waists, which makes me wonder if they just got their period unprepared (YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT LADIEZ). One girl's sipping a daiquiri and I remember some people just don't like beer, even though it seems like the most economical choice in terms of alcohol consumption. I find myself doodling the cartoony words "I AM BORED TO FUCKING DEATH" on the back of my notebook, so I continue reading American Psycho while I wait, most likely making disgusted and incredibly unflattering faces during the gross parts. Finally two dudes come on stage and start playing music without a proper introduction. Um, is this the Klaxons? Cause they kind of blow, and I think the rest of the audience can back me up on that one.

It turns out this band is called Baby Monster and they're from L.A. I miss out on this information twice, but once they announce it the third time they have the bright idea of turning off the distortion on the mic when they speak so we can actually figure out who the fuck these people are. They play numerous electronic "instruments" at a time, which is impressive, but the music is pretty boring and sounds like something played in a club from hell. The only part of their music that really caught my attention was when a synth riff sounded like the opening of the Who's "Baba O'Reilly" which is apparently my only reference point for electronic music.

I also come to terms with the fact I am essentially a 58 year old man. How the band looks is particularly humorous to me and I spend most of my note space contemplating their appearance. They look as if the lead singer from the Smithwesterns started a side project with M.C. Mario and their designated uniforms were skeazy American Apparel V necks and hoodies. The M.C. Mario guy definitely wins the prize for biggest-looking sleaze bag and he kind of freaks me out. Either way, even I can tell that their beats are super cheesy so that must mean they are pretty awful. No one's dancing and I'm getting impatient and worried. If this is what the Klaxons sounds like, I'm fucking outie 5000. In my notes I made a joke along the lines of "…
now there's one baby who should have been aborted", but I think that makes me look really bad as a person. Whoops. On another note, I think I just heard someone get shot in the general vicinity of my apartment, followed by a bunch of police siren. DOUBLE WHOOPS for living in St. Henri, amiright?

My notes pertaining to the Klaxons performance consist mostly of words like "hardcore", "fucking cool" and "that bassist is fucking hot". I had no idea I was going to be hit with such an awesome performance after my boring and seemingly never ending affair with M.C. Mario and Co. Considering I had very few expectations, it was definitely one of the most exciting sets I've witnessed in quite a while. It was loud, it was intense, it made you want to shake yo ass (or compulsively grab at the air, which seemed to be a very popular dance move amongst audience members) and it straight up ruled. Now, as you may know I'm not a fan of perfection as far as live music is concerned and I always appreciate musical that's charmingly sloppy, but I couldn't get over how tight the band sounded. It was kind of thrilling and all of the songs are written in a way that builds perfectly for revving up an audience, which I guess is the whole idea behind the 'rave' aspect of nu rave. It was especially impressive due to the fact I was convinced the synth player was 12 years old for a good chunk of the set. I was like "Please date my 17 year old sister because it would be legal", then realized he's most likely not actually a child. The vocal harmonies, the hardcore rock and roll and electro fusion and their stage presence were all A+ in my books. Also, they seemed like super duper nice guys which was sooo cute. Also also, one of them lit up a cigarette while playing and just didn't give a shit about, like, rules and stuff. This is cool.

Overall verdict: Baby Monster sucks. Their name is shitty and dumb and their Cheeto-wreaking probability currently sits around 98%. Klaxons are surprisingly hardcore and very cool. Although I'm pretty sure the nu rave phenomenon is sleeping with the fishes, you should go see them. They are good and probably smart. Their Cheeto-wreaking probability is virtually non-existent, unless their synth player is indeed underage. In that case, I'd say it fluctuates between 2-4%, cause sometimes when you're young, you just don't know better.

Everyone at CJLO is aware of my great love for LA noise pop/psych/post-shoegaze/whatever-you-wanna-call-it trio Autolux. Having been a fan of the band since their fantastic debut record, Future Perfect, a veritable groove-oriented sonic wallop of pop songs ensconced in at times aggressive, at times soothing white noise freakouts, I've pretty much been singing this band's praises for years.  Future Perfect came out in 2004, and their follow-up only appearing now in 2010...An entire lifetime in musical years. Having seen them twice live before, I was expecting the same sort of sonic annihilation, and after talking them up to fellow CJLOers and converting them to ardent Autolux-ites (Autolux-ians?) as well, I was hoping the nicely packed crowd at Sala Rossa would be in for a treat.  They definitely got their money's worth, but a little something was missing.