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Stories by Holly Cabrera

Produced by Holly Cabrera

LOCAL

Quebec Education Minister Jean-François Roberge announced that he will transfer two English Montreal School Board schools to the Commission scolaire de la Pointe-de-l'Île instead of the intended three. 

The decision to transfer General Vanier Elementary and John Paul Junior High school in Saint-Leonard comes as a response to overcrowding in the French school board.

The Pointe-de-l’île board, which serves new arrivals and French-language students, currently lacks space for nearly 3,000 students. 

Gerald McShane Elementary School will continue to be an English-language school because it is the only anglophone elementary in Montreal North. 

NATIONAL

The Quebec government launched its new system to select immigrants on Thursday in the hope of reducing application processing wait times and the provincial labour shortage. 

The new system called Arrima is already used in other provinces. 

Immigration Minister Simon Jolin-Barrette says the reform will prioritize skilled workers who are already living in Quebec and who are willing to live outside major cities. 

Arima’s introduction to the province is controversial due to the Coalition Avenir Quebec government passing legislation that would cancel 18,000 existing immigration applications. 

INTERNATIONAL

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is currently in Osaka for the G20 summit. 

The Prime Minister's Office said Trudeau had "brief, constructive interactions" with Chinese President Xi Jinping on the first day of meetings, but Trudeau does not have a formal meeting scheduled with Xi during the G20. 

At the summit, Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland said, “Canada is fortunate to have assembled a ‘broad international coalition’ of countries who support Canada and believe arbitrary detentions are harmful.”

This Way to the EGRESS is the greatest (and most eclectic) band you’ve never heard of. Hailing from the Tri-State Area, this delightfully dark cocktail of vaudeville kitsch, folkish klezmer, and ragtime swing is comprised of five full-time members and “an ever-rotating cast of horn players,” whose unique sound caught the ear of this unassuming beginner DJ.

EGRESS has been featured on my show, Something Wicked, many times. All the songs I have played have been off their second album, The Mighty Seed (2013), and only recently have I given it a thorough listening. Goodness, am I glad I did!

The Mighty Seed is an album with style: A hopelessly hopeful, drunken, schizophrenic style that conjures up images of hazy speak easies and boyishly charming tramps. This aesthetic is set with the opening track, “Clarence”, and is carried through with the following “M.I.A” and “Pocket Full of Change” (the latter has a clever use of the tambourine to resemble the sound of loose change). “Hop Town” features the mournful but powerful voice of Sarah Shown, one of EGRESS’s singers. This song made me want to wrap a feather boa around my neck and lounge over a piano. Lord knows that piano would have eventually been smashed to bits, though, because I loved the upbeat banjo and trumpets that accompanied Shown’s melancholic voice.

“Mr. Green” is one of my favorites off the album. It paints a portrait of an anti-hero that would not be out of place in an Edgar Allen Poe story, and features the best musical build up in the entire set. Lead singer Taylor Galassi sells the creepy narrator act like an experienced showman, and the twist at the end is one of my favorite tropes in all Dark Romantic history (Besides, the lyrics are just weird fun. I particularly like the line “But he's looking through you out into the hallways of his madness and the Casa Blanca scenes”).

“Night Gal” is an instrumental piece that follows “Mr. Green” and leads into the next track, “Caged Bird.” Featuring Shown on vocals again, she sings of a woman scorned over some fuzz that took me back to the days when radio was in its infancy. The empowering lyrics and old-timey sound make for a pleasant contrast. 

“Live Through Your Strings,” “Pound Yer Bones,” and “6 Count Swing” are what I can only describe as morbid madness, and they lead into “Liza’s Song," a ballad reminiscent of the songs from my golden CanCon goth calf, Johnny Hollow. However, after a lineup of strong numbers, “Lyle’s Tale” just… happens. It’s my least favorite, and I would argue its repetitive motifs and lyrics aren’t terribly interesting.

But that’s okay, because the next and final song makes up for it in more ways than one.

“Hava’s Lament” closes out “The Mighty Seed”, and it is my absolute favorite. I call it the “It’s Fun to be Poor” song, and I can’t get enough of it. With a jaunty, accordion-led melody, and lyrics both achingly sincere and satirically irreverent, it’s a strong finish to a great album. I have unabashedly danced to “Hava” in my kitchen while stirring lentil soup, and I will continue to do so for as long as I have legs to stand on. It ties the album together perfectly, and it’s one of the main reasons why I will award The Mighty Seed by This Way to the EGRESS a solid 8/10.

Is That How Clowns Keep You Up All Night?
Another successful installment in Maximaliste Productions’ “Is That How Clowns…?” series. Once again, clown sexpert Beatrice busts common myths about sex using homemade props. This time, she tackled the porn industry, periods and general beliefs held by ignorant “bro-dudes.” Beatrice made sure to involve audience members in the front row and played off their awkwardness with the subject. She was sure to be inclusive at every opportunity, using asides to reiterate that genitals do not determine gender. My personal favourite bit was her field report from inside the testicles, conveying the various struggles of a single sperm. In real life, actress Fiona Ross is a qualified sex educator, on a mission to change the outdated sex education we all received in high school.

Bath/Ory

Graduates of the John Abbot College theatre program staged a play centered around the life of Elizabeth Bathory, a Hungarian noblewoman who bathed in the blood of virgin girls to absorb their youth. The troupe incorporated dance and song into their performance, while a porcelain bath remained on stage throughout. Unfortunately, for such a fascinating story, I found the execution quite dull, as Bathory’s crimes were never shown on stage, only mentioned in dialogue. The actors seemed to still have the traditional methods of theatre ingrained in their minds. For a Fringe show, I felt there was even more room for experimentation. Additionally, the lead role of Elizabeth inexplicably switched actors as they transitioned from her upbringing to her later years. I found the decision confusing and unnecessary, since the actresses were of the same age.

Zack Adams: Love Songs For Future Girl

Shane Adamczak, all the way from Perth, Australia, revives the one-man show he introduced to the Montreal Fringe ten years ago, with a few tune-ups. Zack Adams returns home, weary from his cross-country solo tour. One thought that kept him going; proposing to his girlfriend. But she has other plans. Heartbroken and single once again, Zack makes a list of every girl he ever loved since kindergarten. Strumming on his guitar, Zack regales the audience with original funny songs about each of his former crushes and lovers, as well as a few covers by Billy Ray Cyrus, Bob Dylan and Third Eye Blind. Adamczak is incredibly entertaining and proves he is truly a Fringe fest veteran, wherever he roams.

Christianity Made Me A Slut

I was drawn to this show because I felt I would relate to the material. Elizabeth Blue brought her one-woman show up from New York City to the stage at Le Ministère. In a series of life-defining moments, she acts out the (fictional or autobiographical?) journey of a young girl discovering her sexuality. She starts off going to Christian youth groups, where she’s encouraged to give herself to Jesus and pursue a life of purity. Not wanting to break her oath with Jesus, she freezes up in sexual situations. But slowly, she gives into her urges, eventually leading to her own sexual liberation. Blue was able to communicate so much by having one-way conversations with numerous unseen boyfriends and family members. She had to get creative when acting out sex, using stand-in props like strawberries and roses. Overall, a very funny and touching performance.

Chris Aitkens has covered the Montreal Fringe Festival since 2016 and hosts Sewer Spewer, Monday 12 to 1 p.m. on CJLO 1690 AM

Edging With Mike is not quite what you would expect given the title. Upon entering the intimate space of Le P’tit Impro, you see a kind-looking, unassuming man behind a work station, diligently and patiently sharpening a knife. That is Mike. Mike likes to sharpen knives, and also likes to talk about the things he likes.

This piece was a slightly autobiographical, earnest lecture on the art of knife sharpening – an art which is perhaps more richly complex than you may have considered. It was also a tangential exploration of optical lenses and various lesser known historical figures. In a sense, it was one man’s adventure down a Wikipedia rabbit hole. But not just any man, a man with 2 philosophy degrees, a plethora of patience and an incredible attention to detail. Overall, the result was interesting and educational, especially if you are fond of academia as well as theatre.

Mike discussed in depth how one sharpens a knife with precision, the different methods and tools available, and even a bit about the culture that exists around knife ownership. He demonstrated how to properly use a wet stone, and how different grades represent different goals and therefore require different techniques. It was fascinating. He also had an accompanying power point presentation, which added a charming touch of silliness to the show while engaging the audience into further understanding his thesis.

Mike was able to present his topic while being funny, engaging, incredibly genuine, and, not to sound condescending, but also very cute. His energy was consistent and calm, and his voice and the way he spoke was very soothing. His humour was at times somewhat self deprecating, but in a good humoured, self-aware way rather, than a harmful one. I think that the highest praise that I can give Mike for this unconventional fringe lecture, is this: Mike is the Bob Ross of knife sharpening.